Bowling Balls Landscaping Idea
By CROCKER STEPHENSON of the Journal Sentinel staff Once, the idea of landscaping his yard with bowling balls hit Glenn Zellmer like a Brooklyn strike. There’s no law in the village of West Milwaukee (that’s where Zellmer lives) that says you can’t. Yeah, he decided. That’s what I’ll accomplish. I’ll design my yard with bowling balls. Zellmer, who is 42, loves to bowl. He’s been bowling all his life. Bowling is in his blood. When he was 16, he began bowling on a men’s team. Before life got more complex (a wife, a mortgage, a child), Zellmer bowled five times a week. To Zellmer, a bowling ball is a object of beauty, a joy forever. At that time, Zellmer had two problems, both of which would prove easily surmountable. First, there was Mrs. Zellmer - Michelle - who considered the idea was great. And second, Zellmer owned but two bowling balls, and one of which - a 16-pound urethane Red Hammer - was in use. Mr. Zellmer figured Mrs. Zellmer would control his landscape improvement to the backyard. But to his surprise no. She understood that the man she married was closer in spirit to Ralph Kramden than to Ralph Lauren, and so she gave in. Place them where you feel like, she told him. Zellmer thought he would edge his front-yard gardens with the balls. When he and Michelle bought their home eight years ago, the gardens north and south of the front steps overran with thorny bushes. They had the shrubs cut down, the roots drilled out. In place of bushes, the Zellmers placed some evergreens, though Mr. Zellmer isn’t sure what kind. He just liked how they looked and that they were not so prickly. When he initially took out the prickly bushes, he rimed the garden with rocks, which Zellmer thought seemed to be pretty good. But shortly, everyone started edging their gardens with rocks. There were a number of houses on the Zellmers’ block alone that had gardens edged with rocks. Rocks to Zellmer became bourgeois. Zellmer figured it would take 38 balls to edge both gardens. There were budgetary concerns, certainly, but they did not come out to be too restraining. “I didn’t want to spend a million dollars on this project,” he said. Zellmer started gathering balls at the beginning of the summer. He never spent more than $4 on a ball. One sporting-goods store let him have 12 balls for $12. He stored the balls in his garage, and in less than a couple months, Zellmer had all the bowling balls he needed. Storm. Hammer. Brunswick. Udot. Fancy ones with swirling colors, plain ones in black, blue and green. Altogether, about 600 pounds of bowling balls. The effect was striking. Zellmer says his neighbors think the bowling balls look great, and he has a tip for anyone planning similar bowling ball projects. “Put them in finger-holes down,” he said. “Otherwise, kids will be tempted to play with them.” Contact Crocker Stephenson by e-mail at cstephenson@onwis.com
